We have no dead mouse. I met the pest control guy at my mother's house EARLY in the morning. I was honest and told him that we did not actually kill the mouse in the first place and that I'm going to hell for lying to my mother. He gets out his flashlight and starts looking in closets and under sinks and finds mouse droppings under the living room couch. He's like, "Looks like you've got a rat in here." I'm all NO KIDDING? YOU THINK?!!!!!!!! I emptied every garbage and trash bag in the house even though Mr. Pest Control says they don't come in for food (HOW does he know this?)
He gets two sticky traps from his trunk and strategically places them about. He says he can't see anywhere the thing might have come in but suggests I keep an eye on the traps and maybe we'll catch one. Goody.
As soon as he leaves I go to Lowe's and get six more glue traps and put them wherever I might go if I was a mouse. I vacuumed up the disgusting mouse droppings and closed up the house.
Later that evening Steve and I went back over there on Rat Patrol but no dice. No rat. Nada. Probably too early, I thought. Back home later with mom, still on my couch, she has some more bourbon, a few cigarettes, two more aspirin, two benadryl, four chicken gizzards and goes to sleep.
Final day: (or so we hope) Went on Rat Patrol this morning but no stinkin' rat. I have now moved all TEN glue traps in strategic places where my mother won't see them in hopes that I can still catch Mr. Rat. My lie will come back and BITE me if she sees him again tonight. It is NEVER a good thing to lie to your mother (well, almost).
She is back in her house and I am hoping for the best.
(Image credit: drawingcoach.com)
I am now an accessory in a conspiracy. But the good thing is an accessor's sentence is usually less than the actual perp. Remember, I didn't lie to her directly. While you were in the bedroom lying to your mother, I was out in the living room crossing my fingers. Years ago, when I was younger, crossing your fingers exhonerated you when you told a lie. Hopefully, the rules haven't changed.
ReplyDeleteI think I know why the rat(s) came into the house. Your mother is a huge Frank Sinatra fan, and "Old Blue-Eyes" was part of a group calle the "RAT PACK!" And your mother had a cd on her living room table labled the "RAT PACK!"
Maybe, just maybe...