Saturday, August 8, 2009

Something Fishy From the White House

So it seems that The White House business of collecting "fishy" information may have run up the pike. According to legal experts, who smelt a problem, the collection of such data is illegal:

"The White House is in bit of a conundrum because of this privacy statute that prohibits the White House from collecting data and storing it on people who disagree with it," Judge Andrew Napolitano, a FOX News analyst, said Friday.

"There's also a statute that requires the White House to retain all communications that it receives. It can't try to rewrite history by pretending it didn't receive anything," he said. "If the White House deletes anything, it violates one statute. If the White House collects data on the free speech, it violates another statute."

If you recall, The White House opened its warmouth this week and requested that anyone with information that seems "fishy" should send it to This makes a lot of people wary(fish), and curious as to what the White House would do with such information. Many see this as an attempt to skate around the First Amendment and stifle free speech.

The sole reason to gather such information would seem to be to intimidate the American people. The White House denies such claims and Robert Gibbs floundered this week saying that they were NOT collecting data on Americans. Wahoo!

Of course, White House shark, Rahm Emanuel, is familiar with fish, so this could all be his idea. I'm not sure what this administration's fixation with fish is, exactly. Maybe the falling poll numbers are making things a little roughy for them. They "cod" say to "halibut" with Obamacare and I expect the numbers would come back up for Obama, but "eel" never do that.

Meanwhile, the public continues to carp about Obamacare in the town halls while Congressional Representatives perch carefully behind their podiums, some trying to answer questions and some becoming defensive and snappering at their constituents.

So far it's been a wolfish August for the Representatives back home, and not likely to improve. I'd say the White House betta back off of the data collecting thing, and actually begin to address the people rather than attack them. They're on the bream of something big here and cooler heads should prevail, otherwise they may get snookered in the next election cycle.


G. R. said...

I'm glad you're bringing up what the "Bullhead"ed "Bass"tards in our government is doing to the people. The Health Scare issue is too "Gar"gantuan problem to tackle, and I "Trout" they'll ever get it right.

Pat, I hope you don't mind me copying your style.

Thingumboob said...

A Fishy Story

One fine morning in Washington, D.C. Barrack Obama awoke to find himself metamorphozed into a large fish. He immediately panicked and reasoned thusly: "I must now get help to put myself in water or I will surely drown". (He not being used yet to living life as a fish really should have thought suffocate instead of drown.) So he began flapping for all he was worth. Soon he tumbled to the ground of the Presidential bedroom. Immediately at the door appeared a wide eyed secret service agent named Bill. Bill guffawed. "This must be the biggest practical joke ever played in the White House ever'" he thought. "Well, I guess I'd better just play along." So with almost super human strength he bounded forth and scooped up the large fish and ran out of the room.

Barrack meanwhile was gurgling bubbles through his gills and thinking to himself, "I think I can get out of this jam now, because Bill is going to find me some help." Sure enough, Bill ran to the Presidential fish tank and gently eased Barrack into its confines. Barrack felt very peculiar as he slid into the tank as well he might, having only been just turned into a fish. He did his best to scream at Bill that he was the President, but no sound at all came out of his mouth no matter how hard he tried.

"At least I'm alive," he resignedly thought to himself after a long pause. "Maybe there's a way out of this. If I can only retrace my actions from yesterday. Maybe there will be some kind of explanation. There must be some kinda way out of here. Think Barrack! Think! What could have lead to this? What was I doing that wound me up transformed into a fish. What kind of cruel magician could have cast this spell on me?" These thoughts were running over and over in his head while he swam back and forth in wide circles in the fish tank.

In the meantime, a large group of secret service men gawked at him from the outside. They were frantically talking to each other on their Blackberries. "We cannot locate the President," were the words that went crackling over the airwaves. "We are on full alert. Only Cosmic Clearance and family will be informed. Let's get Biden down here now."

To be continued.

Steve Burri said...

Like shootin' fish in a barrel.

Bob Belvedere said...

FYI: The text of the e-mail I just sent to

To Whom It May Concern...

Under your definition, I--someone who believes in a free market-based health care system--am espousing 'fishy' views [your DHS did certify me, after all, a 'Rightwing (sic) Extremist'].

Under my definition of the word, everything members of the Administration have said about the current and proposed Health Care System is not simply fishy, but rotten fishy.

However, as the President put it so succinctly: 'I won'. Therefore I must conclude that your fishy definition of 'fishy' is the one that you abide by [for the moment--you are relativists, after all, and proud of it] and this is the definition you want us to apply in these denunciations.

Therefore, herewith, wherein, and heretofore, I turn my self in as a purveyor of 'fishy' views with the understanding that I will immediately be classified in your database as 'UNMUTUAL' [I would only request that the number you assign me is '6'].

I know that after proper re-education, I will be able to say with pride: 'It is all right, everything is all right, the struggle is finished. I have had won a victory over myself. I love Big Brother'. I also know that, at that point, I will be declared an 'unperson'.

Awaiting speedsend to joycamp, I remain...
Robert Oswald Belvedere, American


FerfeLaBat said...

Awesome! Rahm "Dead Fish" Emamual has been busy cutting bait this week.

Bob Belvedere said...

As I await the knock at the door in the middle of the night, I decided to quote from and link to your posting at:

Just for the halibut, you understand.