IS There a Mouse in Mom's House? (Part 4)

Honestly, this rat is so smart I'm going to hate killing it; well, not really. As you may remember, my mother saw a rat in her house a few weeks ago. I've set out glue traps AND D-Con and so far no rat, dead or alive. There are, however, signs of rat. Such as the half-gnawed glue trap with black fur stuck in it a couple of weeks ago. He chewed himself free. For a while I was convinced that he was living IN my mother's couch because that was really the only place I've seen those lovely rat droppings. And that's where the half-gnawed trap was. At that time I loaded the underside of the couch with four glue traps and one tasty D-Con serving. Ever since then - nothing.

I was in my mother's kitchen the other day and by the portable dishwasher I saw rat droppings along the baseboard. I rolled out the dishwasher, and while the evidence is not overwhelming, I think Mr. Rat may be taking refuge either in the portable dishwasher (which is seldom used) or somewhere else in the kitchen. I pulled one of the four glue traps from under the couch and have placed it under the dishwasher. I've also placed another D-Con tray under there. So as it is now, I have one trap and one D-Con under the dishwasher, and 3 traps and a D-Con under the couch. There are six other glue traps scattered in discrete places throughout the house (well hell, I can't put them where Mom can see them because she thinks Steve killed the rat with a broom; yes, we are both going to hell).

Every single time my phone rings my heart jumps because I know it is my mother calling to report a rat sighting. That's guilt working for you. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, as they say. I know this isn't over but the pressure is KILLING me!

Mouse In Mom's House Part 3

So I go on Rat Patrol this morning, confident I won't find anything as the past couple of days have been all clear. The tricky part is checking all ten glue traps without mom seeing me, because remember, she doesn't know they are there.

Everything looked good until I got to the two traps behind the couch, which is where Mr. Pest Control Guy saw the disgusting mouse droppings. I slid the couch away from the wall and there was only one glue trap. The other had been dragged about 15 inches from the wall and was filled with grey and black RAT HAIR. I'm all like, Oh Crap this is a fricking monster! Panic. A closer inspection revealed that the corner had been nibbled as well so not only did Mr. Rat turn his nose up at my glue trap, he had dinner as well.

I quickly grabbed another glue trap from behind the curtain, all before being discovered by my mother, and placed it under the couch too, put the nibbled one back in place, and put down a box of rat poison.

So the situation now is this: I suspect Mr. Rat might actually be living in my mother's couch, upon which she sits every day and evening. She is probably right now working on her crossword puzzle while Mr. Rat lies cozily in the stuffing of her couch. The floor underneath the couch is a minefield of traps and poison and my mother is oblivious to it all.

This is so gonna come back and bite me. What if he eats the poison, gets drugged and crawls up in her lap. I'm am totally waiting for that phone call. This will so not be funny.

Mouse In Mom's House Part Two

We have no dead mouse. I met the pest control guy at my mother's house EARLY in the morning. I was honest and told him that we did not actually kill the mouse in the first place and that I'm going to hell for lying to my mother. He gets out his flashlight and starts looking in closets and under sinks and finds mouse droppings under the living room couch. He's like, "Looks like you've got a rat in here." I'm all NO KIDDING? YOU THINK?!!!!!!!! I emptied every garbage and trash bag in the house even though Mr. Pest Control says they don't come in for food (HOW does he know this?)

He gets two sticky traps from his trunk and strategically places them about. He says he can't see anywhere the thing might have come in but suggests I keep an eye on the traps and maybe we'll catch one. Goody.

As soon as he leaves I go to Lowe's and get six more glue traps and put them wherever I might go if I was a mouse. I vacuumed up the disgusting mouse droppings and closed up the house.

Later that evening Steve and I went back over there on Rat Patrol but no dice. No rat. Nada. Probably too early, I thought. Back home later with mom, still on my couch, she has some more bourbon, a few cigarettes, two more aspirin, two benadryl, four chicken gizzards and goes to sleep.

Final day: (or so we hope) Went on Rat Patrol this morning but no stinkin' rat. I have now moved all TEN glue traps in strategic places where my mother won't see them in hopes that I can still catch Mr. Rat. My lie will come back and BITE me if she sees him again tonight. It is NEVER a good thing to lie to your mother (well, almost).

She is back in her house and I am hoping for the best.

(Image credit: drawingcoach.com)

Mouse in Mom's House

So my mother calls me last night in a total panic. She's elderly so this can't be a good thing. She has seen a mouse in her house. This is a big deal. My mother has an incredible phobia about rodents and once moved in with me for three weeks because she saw one in her house. I can't say I blame her because I don't like them either though I have been known to keep a gerbil as a pet (RIP Cheddar!).

The mouse in mom's house required Steve and I to make a trip over there and check things out. I found mom in her bed with the covers pulled up to her chin and the phone in hand. She's clearly in a panic. I said some reassuring things and closed the door. Steve is armed with a broom and I'm armed with a Swifter and we start poking around under beds and in closets looking for the damn mouse. I told him, "Look, you know we're gonna have to lie here, I mean, she'll never stay here again if she thinks it got away." He feels guilty about this and I tell him that I'll tell her, I'm probably going to hell anyway so one more lie won't really matter in the total scheme of things and sometimes a little lie is the kinder thing to do.

After what seems an appropriate amount of time I go in and tell her the mouse has been killed. She's still in quite the panic but makes it to phone where she calls her Pest Control service and leaves two crazed messages on their answering service. Three bourbon & cokes, two aspirin, one benadryl and lots of Chesterfields later, I get her to my house where she slept on my couch (yes, I offered her my bed but she wanted the couch!).

So, the next step is to meet the pest control guy, explain my tiny little lie to him, hope he can find the mouse and we can safely get my poor mother back in her own house. Cross fingers for a dead mouse.